I’m a fat lady who sings, and teaches singing. I’ve been singing and performing in a large body my whole life. Early in my music journey, the singing world made it clear bodies like mine weren’t welcome. As a kid I played piano, sang in choir, and loved to sing musical theater. But as soon as I was old enough to feel body shame, I noticed I didn’t see any bodies like mine on the musical theater stage. I noticed that costumers didn’t know what to do with my body. I noticed I wasn’t getting cast even though I was singing well.

I started singing opera because I really love classical music, but opera also didn’t have dance calls, leotards, and your height and weight listed on your resume. Plus, I thought I would be allowed to be a curvy opera diva! After all, what happened to “it ain’t over til the fat lady sings?” Still, in one of my first opera lessons, my voice teacher asked me to put my hands around her ribs to feel her breath and then replicate it on my body. All I could think was “but my body is so much bigger” and “my body doesn’t feel anything like that.”

Even in the classical singing world, I was told to lose weight to get into good conservatories or to get lead roles. Vocal coaches would comment on my outfit choice instead of my musical choices. Voice teachers would prescribe diets instead of repertoire. And before age 25 I played more than my fair share of mothers, nuns, and old maids.